1.29.2012

Our Family Laws

If you are a parent and haven't read 5 Spiritual Solutions to Everyday Parenting Challenges stop right now...follow this link....and buy this book. It has been amazing and has completely changed the way I think about my role as a parent and I've only gotten through the first 3 solutions.
When I read a book like this I like to take it a little bit at a time, work on one thing, then move to the next. If I read the whole book in one fell swoop it would have entered through my eyes and out my nose as I slept (nice visual huh) So I break it up into bits. The first solution was completely eye opening. The second solution is where I learned about Family Laws. The Family laws that you all seem to be so interested in since I keep hinting about them. The same family laws that have completely changed my family.
They Eyre's (the authors of the book) talk about how they set laws rather than "rules" in their family. Breaking a law sounds like a bigger deal than breaking a rule and I believe that to be very true. Each law comes with a consequence for breaking it...a very specific consequence. I have for a very long time been struggling with being the type of parent I want to be. I have this vision of what I should be but when it comes down to it, I suck!! So through much prayer and fasting this solution came to me through pure inspiration and this book. When I read the chapter on family laws I was hit with inspiration that we needed to do this. It took me a week or so and some very sincere prayer and thought.
We sat down to Family Home Evening on Monday almost 2 weeks ago with the intent to set up some family laws complete with consequences. The book suggested the kids help set the consequences so I just followed along. Now I could have just copied the laws they had but I knew that wouldn't work. We needed specific laws for what we struggle with as a family. These are what we came up with, the Conk Family Laws and Consequences

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So what is the law that changed us totally? The first one and I totally believe that is is through divine inspiration that the idea came to me. So a little history here. I'm a yeller, yep sweet little quiet ol me is a yeller, I know you are falling off your chairs right now in disbelief! (totally kidding here people, I claim no ignorance of my volume problem, it's genetic, but I digress.) So this yelling problem has gotten so far out of hand that i just couldn't take it any more and I knew that the problem began with me and had to end with me. So these laws and consequences apply not only to my kids but us parents as well. In the last 2 weeks we have had to crack the scriptures open probably once or twice each member of the family but O MY GOSH the yelling is almost totally gone. The Repentance area is also a suggestion in the book and we have used it and it has really helped the conflict resolution between the kids. They are getting along so much better. If you want to know what the heck a repentance area is you really have to get the book!! The kids were a huge part setting the laws and consequences., and since they help set them they have been more likely to follow them.
So there you have it, The Conk Family Laws. (is it everything you ever hoped it would be??) My best advise about setting your own family laws is to pray about the things you need to work on as a family and the spirit will guide you on your journey to becoming the best parents for YOUR kids!!

5 comments:

Michelle said...

Fantastic Kristin. :) I love how humbly you apply these to yourself as well as the kids. I think kids respond better when the parents hold themselves to the same standards. Awesome! :)

Melanie said...

Very cool! I have read several of the Eyre's books and they are fantastic. Thanks for sharing your family laws.

So does yelling if you're not mad count? Like if I'm calling for one of my kids to come upstairs but I know he has his earbuds in and I can't bear the thought of dragging my pregnant body up and down the stairs one more time. Not that this ever happens. . . Just speaking hypothetically of course.

Heather said...

This is fantastic. We are doing just this exact thing for FHE tonight. Narrowing them down and sticking a consequence to the offenses. I am totally making a visual as well for the house. Reading a scripture has worked like a charm around here as well. I also have read a few verses in the last few days. They LOVE it when I have to read:)
I am so glad you mentioned this. It came as a complete answer to my prayers as well. So, thank you!

Heidi said...

I am ordering the book tomorrow! We are having a big time problem with respect around here. I can't wait to read the book. Thanks so much for sharing this.

Andrea said...

I love this, Kristin! What great rules you have for the family.
I'm a bit of a yeller as well. I had no idea I was a yeller until I had a child. So sad.
I may have to order this book.